So, a long time ago my wonderful father-in-law gave me a great talk. Basically, I wanted to know how do I change my hubby. When you’re dating you don’t see quite as many flaws as you notice once your hitched. My father-in-law gave me an answer I didn’t want to hear. He said “If you want change, you have to change first”. I’m like what? Seriously, I didn’t need him to tell me that I needed to change. I was not the one with the annoying issues. His beloved son was. Fast forward 7 years….he was right. Sometimes we intend to make things better by pointing out what the other person needs to work on. However, we can’t change others. It took me a long time to come to this understsnding. Since you dont really know me, let me tell you that I’m a bit of a control freak. So, it’s an issue when I can’t control something or at least change it to my liking.
So, this is the truth…in my opinion. We can’t change others, but we can influence them with or without their knowledge. So, let’s use parents as an example. When you were a child and your mom said not to touch that candy until dinner; how many kids wouldn’t want that candy even more? Of course we would. Now, the consequences may persuade us not to consume that delicious candy and then again, it may not. Sometimes we learn we don’t like the consequences and sometimes we are just hardheaded. Either way, we decide to rebel or obey. Do we honor or dishonor?
Back to my question to my father-in-law….I’ve learned that if my husband displeases me then I can tell him. I can tell him how it makes me feel, but I can not change him. So, in essence my father-in-law was right. I had to change the way I was delivering my message to my husband. Now, I’m not claiming to have the perfect marriage, but I have learned I must change me. I try to improve myself daily and if I do that I’m doing good. I’m doing real good. Life is too short to worry or be upset over the things we can’t control. So, I just work on CHANGING ME!